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I just feel so blah lately. I’ve been fight­ing this CRUD now for almost three weeks. I have zero energy and hon­estly, I just want to crawl into bed and shut the door on every­one. It sucks. I’m on one of my downslides where noth­ing gets through to me and I just want to shut every­one out. The slight­est thing irri­tates me and just depresses me fur­ther. I feel hor­ri­ble because even though I try not to let it, I know it affects how I inter­act with Ri. Luck­ily, I only go through these episodes every few years now as opposed to every few months, or more, when I was younger.

Any­ways, I started the night with the inten­tion of spruc­ing up the look around here. Chang­ing col­ors, etc. As you can tell, I ended up just chang­ing the header. I’m not very happy with it, but eh. I miss the days when I could pop out awe­some graph­ics and lay­outs. I just don’t have the moti­va­tion or the time to ded­i­cate to learn­ing the new code. It has pro­gressed over the years with­out me, lol.

Life just feels stale right now. I should be excited about the new house and such. But with Grant cur­rently unem­ployed, things are tight. We used our tax returns to fix up the house, and then BAM, sin­gle income fam­ily. Not only that, but it was the greater of the two incomes that got nixed. Lovely, right? Life just loves to bite you in the ass.

I’m just .… you know? Any­ways, I’m wait­ing on the sheets and com­forter to dry and then I am out for the night.


changes

So, yeah, I’ve been a bit absent lately. We have been busy work­ing on the new house. Paint­ing, clean­ing, and putting new floor­ing in the bed­rooms. We haven’t even began to pack the town-house unfor­tu­nately. The move will hope­fully take place some­time dur­ing the next two-three weeks. The suck part? Even though we are mov­ing out well before the end of March, I still have to pay full rent for the month. Even if we had moved out before March 01, which was the orig­i­nal plan. Upon find­ing this out, we decided to take our time with the ren­o­va­tions of the new house. Luck­ily, we have no rent or house pay­ments at the new house. Thank the Lord.

Other than that, I have been fight­ing of the CRUD, again. It’s mainly upper res­pi­ra­tory type junk with a hel­la­cious head cold and fever. That on top of hav­ing another tooth pulled last Mon­day. So, with all that going on, I hope you can under­stand my absence, aside from my inces­sant twit­ter nonsense.

Oh, I did whack off my hair on Sat­ur­day. Not on pur­pose either. I will keep my hair fairly short, shoul­der length with lay­ers. But my long-standing rule is that it has to remain long enough to be pulled into a decent pony-tail. I’m sorry, by my daily stan­dard is the fail-safe pony. I live by it. Any­ways, I hadn’t trimmed my hair since Oct. so it had got­ten fairly long. I told the girl that I want my usual cut, with the short­est layer being chin level and the longest at shoul­der length. I didn’t fret when she turned me away from the mir­ror. I mean, how much more basic can you get? So imag­ine my shock when she turns me back around and the longest layer is barely chin length and the short­est is about 1.5”-2”!! It’s longer in the front and gets shorter around the back. I mean it’s cute and I kind of like it, but I can’t pull it into a pony tail at all, the bot­tom layer won’t go. This means I have to wash it every sin­gle night and straighten it. I have extremely curly hair and nat­ural can be kind of dis­as­trous. Any­ways, we’ll see how it goes for awhile. Not like I really have much choice.

Mom and I started a new Beth Moore bible study tonight. Rev­e­la­tions: Here, Now & Then, There. I’m actu­ally pretty pumped about it. It’s every Tues­day night from 6–8 for the next ten weeks. Should be pretty spiffy.

Surely, you can tell that I am doped up on Nyquil and pain meds, surely. With that said, I am going to embrace the warm fuzzy feel­ing and crawl into my nice clean sheets and conk the heck out. Being sick has got me drained. Lol. Hope every­one had a great week­end and their week is off to a bet­ter than decent start. :) Night and God bless.

Proverbs 14:22 “Do not those who plot evil go astray? But those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness.”


spring fever

We’ve had more snow lately than I ever remem­ber get­ting in this part of Okla­homa. Like I said, this part of Okla­homa. While I have enjoyed the short bursts of 1–2” we have had here and there, I don’t know how those of you up North deal with it. It’s pretty, and I’ve enjoyed watch­ing Grant & Ri build snow men, but I’m sick of the cold. I am not a win­ter per­son, not in the least. Hope­fully spring will arrive shortly.

In other news, we are prepar­ing for the move. It will be a much needed finan­cial break. Going from pay­ing almost $600 a month in rent to know house payment/rent what-so-ever is like a dream come true. Cur­rently, we are paint­ing and redo­ing floors. Grant should be fin­ished with Ri’s room by tomor­row evening. Hope­fully we will be moved in by the end of Feb­ru­ary or early March at the lat­est. I’ll be post­ing pic­tures of that soon.

I’m about to head off to bed. I had another tooth pulled today, and if you read my tweets, you know how that went. My jaw is in agony. I have to admit though, I love my den­tist and his staff, they take care of me with­out drown­ing me in a life­time of debt. I’ve been doing a lit­tle behind the scenes work on the site, just not post­ing very fre­quently. Once things set­tle down, I’ll be more con­sis­tent. :P I know you’ve all heard that one before. Any­ways, I’m off to bed. Back to work tomor­row and all that fun stuff that it entails. Night.

P.S. Happy Birth­day, Baby! Grant turns 24 tomorrow.

1 John 4:10“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an aton­ing sac­ri­fice for our sins.”


Down With the Sickness

Okay, so the title is sup­posed to be a pun on the recent ill­nesses that has plagued the fam­ily for the past few months. More aptly, Ri and myself. Argh! :| It seems that we get over one thing, get a brief respite, and then knocked back on our duffs. :P I’ve missed so much work since Sep­tem­ber and it really sucks. Espe­cially because I just started this job in July. Thank the Lord I’m good at what I do and my boss/office man­ager is so understanding.

I can­not wait for Grant to get home tomor­row. I just want to crawl into bed and cud­dle up and let him take care of me. Is that sad? :) Lol. By the time he goes back to work, I am ready for the break. I’m just that type of per­son. I have to have alone time, no mat­ter who the other per­son is. But after about 3–4 days, I start to miss him horribly.

I’m going to jump around a bit with this post because A. it’s late, B. I’ve taken my pain med­i­cine, C. there are a lot of spo­radic things on my mind. I really want to start post­ing more though. I wanted to get my domain back up and run­ning for a rea­son, but I haven’t really stuck with it. I think when Grant goes back to the rig this next time I am going to devote some time to spruc­ing up the lay­out and work­ing on some plug-ins. I always go through this funk dur­ing the win­ter, sea­sonal depres­sion I think it’s called. I don’t do much as far as pho­tog­ra­phy this time of year either. I think it’s because I’m not out­doors as much. If you notice over the last few years, I go pic­ture crazy start­ing in the early spring and it hangs around until mid to late fall. Then I almost com­pletely dis­ap­pear again till the fol­low­ing spring. I need to work on that, lol. :)

Other than that, I hope every­one is enjoy­ing life lately. I know things have been kind of crazy with nature as of late. What about that tor­nado in L.A. today? My prayers go out to those affected by the earth­quake in Haiti. My own uncle and aunt (He is the min­is­ter of our church) were in Jamaica on their way back from a mis­sion in Haiti when the earth­quake struck. They were on the bal­cony of their room on the 15th floor when it hit. Uncle John said all he could do was hang on to the rail­ing and pray. He said noth­ing spears you to the core than feel­ing like you can’t even trust the ground beneath your feet. Again, my prayers are with you all and I am donat­ing what money I can here an there, at church, Red Cross, etc. Once things set­tle down, our church will be going over per­son­ally and build­ing homes with sup­plies bought from our tithes.

I’ve fol­lowed Ree, Oklahoma’s very own Pio­neer Woman online for years. She is a big part of my inspi­ra­tion in pho­tog­ra­phy and much of what I know I have learned from her site. I just want to say that on top of being one of the sweet­est, quirki­est, and just down right most awe­some women out there, she is also the most inspir­ing. This woman never stops giv­ing from her heart. She started out pledg­ing to donate 10 cents for every com­ment made on her site dur­ing a spec­i­fied time limit to the top three char­i­ties named. That total ended up being $2,585.00. Ree was so over-whelmed with the response that she got from this pledge that she took it even fur­ther. She donated the full amount to EACH of the three top char­i­ties named, a dona­tion total­ing $7,755 out of her own money. WOW. I wish that we could all give that kind of money to the peo­ple around the world who need it.

Okay, so this post is already turn­ing into a novel and I need to crash soon, so… I’m gonna fill you in on what has been hap­pen­ing the past few days. Some of the info I’m about to go into may be con­sid­ered TMI, espe­cially if there are any non-females lurk­ing about. There­fore, I’m going to place the details behind a cut. I hope every­one has a great week and God bless.

James 1:2–3 “[Tri­als and Temp­ta­tions] Con­sider it pure joy, my broth­ers, when­ever you face tri­als of many kinds, because you know that the test­ing of your faith devel­ops perseverance.”

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procrastination at it’s best

I am in the midst of seri­ous pro­cras­ti­na­tion. I still need to fin­ish clean­ing, do a bit of laun­dry, and take a shower. I so don’t want to, but it has to be done tonight. I set out to start about an hour and a half ago and have accom­plished exactly zilch. Yup, it really sucks. So, as soon as I fin­ish eat­ing my chips and queso it’s time to move my rear. Ugh.

Today was a kind of crappy day, but I’m not really in the mood to talk about it. Besides, you never know who is lurk­ing about, and the por­tion of the fam­ily who made to day so shitty have a ten­dency to do so. They come here think­ing they are going to find all kinds of bull shit and then try to throw it in my face. It’s funny that they are always sadly dis­ap­pointed, yet they still try to twist every­thing that they can find. So yeah, you know who you are and your life is beyond sad that you con­tinue to pur­sue the lies and drama that you do. You aren’t accom­plish­ing any­thing. You aren’t hurt­ing those you set out to hurt, only the ones you pro­claim to love and that we are “keep­ing you from.”

So with that, I am headed down­stairs to crank up the music and set to work. There really isn’t a whole lot to do, I’ve just been lazy this week­end because my tooth is still killing me. I’m so ready to be done with all the den­tal work. I know I have to be annoy­ing the heck out of my den­tist. Poor guy, gotta love his patience with me though. :) I may be back when I get fin­ished, but who knows. Night for now & God bless.

Cur­rently Lis­ten­ing: I Wish You Were Here — Incubus


late night musings

I actu­ally just woke up not too long ago. I have been crash­ing pretty early the past few nights due to a pretty intense tooth-ache. The crash­ing early part wouldn’t be to bad if I was actu­ally able to sleep the whole night through. Instead, I have been wak­ing up every hour or so. From there, it’s drag­ging my in-pain self down­stairs to through my hot pack in the microwave for 4o sec­onds, throw­ing back a few max­i­mum strength Advil, then back upstairs to lay there for 15 min­utes or so, and pray­ing the hot pack eases the pain quickly. If you can’t tell, I had another root canal on Tues­day. I ended up going back Thurs­day morn­ing because I thought the pain was cause by a bite mis­align­ment that seems to hap­pen every time. So, Doc ground out some of the tem­po­rary and all seemed well. Until late Thurs­day evening, after the den­tist closed for the week­end of course. Story of my life the last few months as far as den­tal work goes. Ugh. I don’t know what the freak­ing deal is. Every time I have den­tal work (and I have been hav­ing a lot lately) I ended up in excru­ci­at­ing pain from either a bite mis­align­ment or and abscess. I just don’t get it.

Other than that, life has been pretty good. My 27th birth­day came and went last Sun­day. As I’ve said before, a lit­tle too close to thirty for per­sonal com­fort, but over­all I can’t com­plain. :) I prob­a­bly wouldn’t feel so old if Grant wasn’t only 23, lol. Any­ways, Mom’s 52nd is tomor­row (eh, today.) Her big plans? She wants to come over and help me go through all of Ri’s clothes and toys. Gotta love my momma! :)

Any­ways, the pain is start­ing to back off a lit­tle, so I think I am gonna try to crash back out. Hope every­one is enjoy­ing 2010 so far. :)

Merry Christmas!!!

Wow! I know it has been a really long time since I last posted. Apolo­gies in advanced, lol. Things have been pretty crazy, if it’s not one thing, it’s another. Between Ri and I both hav­ing the flu, Ri hav­ing a flare-up with her AVM (result­ing in numer­ous trips to the E.R. and Children’s Hos­pi­tal in OKC), den­tal work, a death in the fam­ily (Grant’s Uncle), and daily life, my time on-line has been very lim­ited. Rest assured that we are all well and good now and finally tak­ing a breather. :)

We have had a won­der­ful white Christ­mas! That is rare in this part of Okla­homa, let me tell you. It started with a full on bliz­zard on Christ­mas Eve, which is a first. My par­ents were born and raised here and they have never seen a bliz­zard warn­ing here. It got inter­est­ing. I went and got Grant early from his par­ents house (he was there for his uncle’s funeral the day before) and we went to my par­ents for Christ­mas. Luck­ily, I thought ahead and brought all of our gifts and Santa’s spe­cial treats ;) because we ended up snowed in over-nights. Since my GG moved in with my par­ents a few months ago, we just stayed next door at her house and did our Christ­mas morn­ing with Ri there. It all worked out quite nicely. On Christ­mas Day we packed up and made the typ­i­cally 15–20 minute drive to Grant’s par­ents’ house in about an hour and fif­teen min­utes. It was a beau­ti­ful drive, a lit­tle edgy at times, but a sight to see  none the less. :)

We finally made it home for the first time in three days last night around 11:00. We left his par­ents’ around 8:45 or 9:00, but we took the long way home through Chick­asha on the inter­state for bet­ter road con­di­tions. It wasn’t bad till we got almost home. The roads here are still pretty bad. There are 6ft drifts in places and our town­house is on a dead end road that you can barely make it down. There are places on it where the ice is still almost a foot thick, no joke. This may not sound like much to some of you, but to those of us from Okla­homa, dang.  We maybe get snow once per win­ter, and we are lucky if an inch sticks. We mainly get ice storms, and even those are rare. Add in the fact that it’s been between 55–60 degrees for the last week or two and need­less to say, the bliz­zard was quite a shocker. One high­way lead­ing to my par­ents’ house from the city in which I work had a 32 car pile-up.

Any­ways, we have been lay­ing around all day, watch­ing movies and enjoy­ing being snowed in. :) We watched “Avatar” ear­lier, which was amaz­ing by the way, and now I am about to watch “Harry Pot­ter: The Half-Blood Prince” with Ri. I uploaded a bunch of pic­tures from the last month, so check them out.

the bug is going around

I know I haven’t been around this past week. Grant’s been home and jacked my lap­top for most of his stay. He got a new game and for some rea­son the only com­puter it will work on is my lap­top. Go fig­ure. To top it all off, Ri and I have been pretty ill since Sun­day night. My poor baby has not been able to hold any­thing down since, and I’m not much bet­ter. We are off to the doc­tor tomor­row. Grant left today to go back to work and Ri and I are about to crash out. Hope every­one else is doing bet­ter than we are. Miss you all and God bless.

catching up with life

We are alive and doing well, I promise. It’s been a long, crazy, and hec­tic week since I last posted. In that time, Ri’s been a lit­tle sick, I’ve had a car wreck (not bad, I’m okay, more details later), dri­ven to Still­wa­ter to Grant after work Thurs­day night, got Grant a car, and helped his fam­ily build a barn. That’s why we are home at 7:00 on a Sat­ur­day night eat­ing DiGiorno’s pizza. Quite night in. That’s what we did last night too. Grant cooked some amaz­ing sea­soned Black Angus strip steaks. I made gar­lic mashed pota­toes and mack and cheese. Then we had cheese­cake for din­ner. OMG. Fug­gin’ amaz­ing. Noth­ing quite so elab­o­rate tonight though. I’m fold­ing laun­dry and then crawl­ing into bed. Church in the morn­ing and then I have to run to Rush to get my lap­top that I left at Grant’s par­ents’ house. *&#$%!@ That’s all I’m gonna say about that. Lastly, we have to run to Law­ton to get Grant’s car. I really hope he doesn’t have to go back to the rig early since he got off a day and a half late. I know this is a run-on and scat­tered to all four-corners, but let it serve as an exam­ple to my exhaus­tion. Hope every­one is hav­ing a good weekend!

home is bittersweet alone

So, I finally got home about an hour ago. I’ve been back from Still­wa­ter since about 10:30, but have been on the go since. I had a den­tist appoint­ment, which I will go into more in another post. Let’s just say: seri­ously pissed off. Then I went to my par­ents’ and crashed for awhile because Ri was going bonkers to see them and GG. At 3:30 I had to drive to Chick­asha to meet Grant’s aunt to have some paper­work for my lease nota­rized. :P  I also had to run some money by Grant’s par­ents’ house and I let Ri play with Grandpa Chris and Uncle Lyle for awhile. They were work­ing on the barn and had a huge hydraulic lift that went about 40 ft in the freak­ing air. Guess what Ri had to do? Give me a heart attack and ride it as high as it would go with Grandpa Chris, of course. Any­ways, I’m exhausted. I haven’t unpacked or any­thing. Ri didn’t even make it through the car ride home. She’s been crashed out, and I shall join her. I miss you like crazy baby and I love you. Can’t wait till you get home at the end of the week.


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