I just feel so blah lately. I’ve been fight­ing this CRUD now for almost three weeks. I have zero energy and hon­estly, I just want to crawl into bed and shut the door on every­one. It sucks. I’m on one of my downslides where noth­ing gets through to me and I just want to shut every­one out. The slight­est thing irri­tates me and just depresses me fur­ther. I feel hor­ri­ble because even though I try not to let it, I know it affects how I inter­act with Ri. Luck­ily, I only go through these episodes every few years now as opposed to every few months, or more, when I was younger.

Any­ways, I started the night with the inten­tion of spruc­ing up the look around here. Chang­ing col­ors, etc. As you can tell, I ended up just chang­ing the header. I’m not very happy with it, but eh. I miss the days when I could pop out awe­some graph­ics and lay­outs. I just don’t have the moti­va­tion or the time to ded­i­cate to learn­ing the new code. It has pro­gressed over the years with­out me, lol.

Life just feels stale right now. I should be excited about the new house and such. But with Grant cur­rently unem­ployed, things are tight. We used our tax returns to fix up the house, and then BAM, sin­gle income fam­ily. Not only that, but it was the greater of the two incomes that got nixed. Lovely, right? Life just loves to bite you in the ass.

I’m just .… you know? Any­ways, I’m wait­ing on the sheets and com­forter to dry and then I am out for the night.